thus making me awesome and them whores
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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