my soul wont recognize me after tonight
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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