I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
