Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
