Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize