Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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