I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
