I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
