Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
