I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He better not be in your backpack
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
