WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
