would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
