I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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