drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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