i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize