you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
