He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
