Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
