I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I enjoy the company of your penis
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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