...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
