I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
