You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
