The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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