i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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