She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
