im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
