It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
