You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
