i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize