A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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