You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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