I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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