he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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