Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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