you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
