Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
