They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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