Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
