...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We left an ass print on the piano.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
