Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
