He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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