The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need a beard to bite.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
