Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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