is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
All I want is dick and wine.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
