this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
