I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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