and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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