i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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