u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
