3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
