Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
