I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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