Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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