using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
