do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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