Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
