I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
