yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
