I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
