I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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